Such a pity. A bloody pity. It was such a bloody pity.

So I walk into my first "Tort's" seminar, taught by someone who reminds me very much of The Russian from Sex & the City, 10 minutes early, being of course the ever-eager-to-impress-the-teacher-brown-nosing-apple-polishing-asskissing-student that I am. Actually my watch was set 20 minutes fast, so technically I was 10 minutes late. But, hey, who's counting? The class was filled. Apparently everyone else was an ever-eager-to-impress-the-teacher-brown-nosing-apple-polishing-asskissing-student.

Tall, dark and handsome. Okay, maybe not exactly TALL, tall, but tall enough. And Chinese. He walked the walk. Cute, definitely cute. Dimples, brilliantly piercing eyes. And he was coming right towards me. Gorgeous. I tried to look nonchalant, unaffected even. Nearer. I did The Hair Flick. Nearer. He stood within mere inches of me. "Hi, im ******" (protected for his own sake and also cause I don't want law suits on my hands; he is afterall studying law too). Breathtaking. I did "The Flick" again, this time with more of "The Twirl". He extended his hand. I smiled. He smiled. Beautiful , beautiful eyes, deep, deep dimples. Chinese(No offence here, but i am a traditional sorta girl who would preferably date within the circle). Mmm. Raise of the eyebrows, "Hi, nice to meet you, my name's *****"( oops, getting carried away with the whole protecting identity thing), I almost say, but I decide not to say more than he did. Firm handshake, radiant smile. "Alicia", I finally settle with. He smiled again. I held my smile. Hands, such strong hands. Was it love? Infatuation? Fantasy? Whatever it was, i was captivated.

Until he opened his mouth again, of course. Not Australian born, not a Singaporean. Malaysian. Now, I know many Malaysians and i personally have nothing against them. Nothing at all. A few of my very good friends are actually Malaysians. But this dude could not speak proper English for all the nuts in the world. Nope, not even for all the tea in China. Dammit, i thought, Houston we have a problem. Over.

Standing there, smiling, twirling my hair, i spaced out there and then. A million possiblilites ran through my mind. Befriend him and teach him how to speak proper English. Befriend him but tell him the only condition is if he doesnt speak. At all. Look at him from afar, dont befriend him. Perhaps i could get one of him, to go, batteries not included? Whatever. A friend grabs me from behind. Saved. But oh so cute. If only he didn't say a word.