i cant believe the 1st year of college is over. My first year. My freshman year. And what a f-ing good year it was! Fucking A i cant believe its over. Finito. Fucking woah. There are times when i wanted to go home, of course, but i still loved it. And im glad i went abroad, there's a definite. Its been awesome. Ive met some of the craziest people. And some of them i'll want to keep as friends for life (and not some of that phony shit where like oh i'll always remember u but lose contact in like a day slash 2). I don't think its too difficult to say that i loved my freshman year. All the shit that i did over at Cornell i'd never have done/be able to do had i stayed in Singapore. And for what? For NUS law?! Pshaw! Please. Mwahaha. I love rejecting things, which is why i apparently applied for and may i add, got into everything. And the one thing i did ultimately accept seems to have been a pretty darn good decision, if i might say so myself.

Anyway. I STILL CANT BELIEVE ITS OVER.

Just watched spongebob squarepants, very reluctantly at first might i say, but its the freaking funniest show in life. Watch it and ride the Hasslehauf! Off to meet 2 of my favorite people in life. Wheee and tomorrow ITS MY BIRTHDAY THAAAAAAAANG. WOOoohooooooooooooooo.

ive just got to say, tonight was freaking awesome!!! fuck studying for finals, this is way more interesting!

5.24 am on saturday the 7th of may on Julian's laptop, with a mass of boys lying around me. I cant sleep so im here blogging.

Jem's here!!! :) and im loving it. We had slope day today which was awesome. AWESOME. We saw snoop dog perform!! The boys were saying last year was better because this yr a lot of non-Cornell ppl came jus for Snoop but since ive nothing to compare it to, it was awe-fricking-some. Esp because i had the 2 best people on earth (not withstanding the peripherals!) with me 24/7 cept going to the bathroom and showaaa~

Thurs night Julian and i went to pick Jemmy up from Thompson Ithaca Airport (i love how it sounds like such a big deal when its like 2 square feet big..lol) then all headed back to Julian's place, met up with the boys - Chris, JD, Jim, Eels, Sam, Rod and the infamous Tim - and basically tore the place up. haha So all that headache about where to sleep how weird it'd be etc.. all for nothing because in the end after a few drinks and stuff where we were all hanging out in the living room, i disappeared to go pee and jumped into JD's bed then Eels came to join me. So the next morning i wake up to find JD in Julian's room, Sam's already up and cooking, Tim's with his girlfriend and the rest of the boys, Jem included, have passed out on the sofas (these kids have a million looong sofas!) in the livin room/dining area.

Then SLOPE DAY!!! All of us cut classes today, so we got up and at 11 am (its tradition), started pre-gaming for slopeday. i still dont really like beers so i jus drank some of Julian's so by 11.30 it was time for pancakes and champagne. Which was awesome. Then we hit up the slopes, relatively intoxicated, or getting there, as it was, drank somemore, boogied with the Snoop among various others, rolled around the slopes, drank beer off slides and hurtled Eels, canonballstyle. AWE.SOME.NESS. Then headed back, all heady and parched like a mo, back to sober up, then Julian, JD, Eels and i put on the ritz and brought Jemmy down to the Commons to this nice place called Madeline's. Boys in dressy attire, that i dooo liiike! :)

Then of course, to top it all off, Sake Bombing. Then we hit up one of JD's friend's apartment for a party then back to this place, where we set up camp, i.e. with the blankies and cushions in the living room and talked til everyone slowly fell asleep. but my head's pounding too hard to fall asleep. im not "alcohol ready" yet. these crazy kids have been drinking since last night!! Ah well. And YES!! Julian did have to have his warm milk! Jemmy seems to be enjoying himself. He and Julian have become as thick as thieves. As soon as Jemmy got off the plane and was introduced to Jules, its been blood-brothers ever since. Bah. what's the world coming to?! ;p

So since Julian's laptop is on the dining room table and i know his password, ive broken into it to blog a bit. Jemmy's leaving sunday morning :( then 2 more weeks of finals and then im home home home! kinda screwed since i guess this was sup to be leading into "study week" but fuggit. its always been 1st comes play then work with me, and i dont intend to change it as of yet.

Gonna try and get some shuteye now if only the head would stop going BOOMBOOMBOOM.. tmw's agenda is breaky in collegetown, showing jemmy the sights, dinner then concert by this acapella group called "Class Notes". Its gonna be me n Jemmy time tmwww.. theeeeeen prob gonna stay up all night talkin or something then eeeeeeeearly Sun morning the boy leaves! AWWww.

Ahhhhhhh i miss my beebee n weizhi!! not fartzzy coz shes mean. hmph. heehee and u too joanieee~ and erm the rest of u... lol

HES COMING HES COMING HES COMING HES COMING HES COMING HES COMING HES COOOOMINGGGGG!!! heeheehee cant stop grinning... havent been able to stop grinning since he told me the news! My jemmy is coming up to Cornell!!! Wheeeeee this is gonna be the absolute funnest (see i dont even care about my English!) Slope Day in liiiifeeee!! Slope Day aka the last day of classes is basically a whirlwind of Cornell endorsed beer guzzling funfunfun! And Snoop Dog's coming!

YAAAAAAAAAAAAY i cant waaait for jemmy to come! im sooo gonna pee in my pants! heehee Julian said i couldnt put jemmy in my room ( :( awww why did i get a single then!?!) but since im a good girl and i was waaaaaaaay too excited to argue, i said OKKK sooo now we're aaaaall gonna be at Julian's.................... dunnooo how tt's gonna turn outttt but im happyyyy..so so happyyy. So Chris, Jim, JD, Eels and the rest of the boyss are all gonna be there too but whatevvvv i love those kids and though they reeeally act like kids im sure Jemmy's gonna love em! :) and they're gonna love jemmmy!!

You think u'll be the same forever, but things change. Things are bound to change. You think everything will be constant for eternity. That there are certain things you know for sure. Certain people you know through and through. But things change. Things are bound to change. You think you know a person and then a boyfriend or girlfriend comes into the picture. Yours or his/hers. Things change. People change. Does it have to be? Yes. Yes, things change. People change. We cant stop it. We can not stop it. Friends forever. But different. Friends in a different way. The world never stops spinning. The world never stops changing. People change, things change, situations change, dynamics change. We cant stop it. There's no way. We can only passively let things pass us by. You say that's what u love about me. That i dont change. That im a constant. In a sense. Only in that sense. That you love that i can keep my relationships and friendships separate. And i intend to keep it that way.

im innocent. i yearn childlike innocence. i want to be a kid, a young, innocent, oblivious child, forever.