The day didnt start too well.

I awoke with a start. The darn alarm clocks were screaming their maniacal heads off all around me. Great. Surround sound shitstem. In an everyday ritual, i proceeded to throw myself off the bed. The right side. Ouch. The floor did not feel too good. Making my way commando style i.e. crawling on all fours, to the toilet, i fell back asleep.

*!#@#$#^ I**!!!!" When i awoke again, it was 12.17 p.m. I had to be at work in precisely erm, well, 1 o'clock minus 12.17 = erm..well, anyway i didnt have too much time. I had to put on my day face, choose my clothes, do my hair, eat my brunch, pack my bag and pick my shoes. Time was of the essence.

In the end, i was 15 minutes late. Locked out and late. Crap! I had to convince someone to let me in, that i was the new temp staff. And i had worn the wrong shoes. The shoes that look good but aint for walking. I could feel the blisters on the onset.

****

Ding! Yet another delivery man needed to be buzzed in.

"Sorry, i cannot authorize that package"
"No, she is not in."
"He's on MC"
"Erm, not at his desk either"

Just my luck. All 3 of the people who could sign for the package were on leave. Panick. I didnt pay attention to what the person who trained me had said. The only thing resounding in my ears was her deathly warning: "Never authorize anything for other people. Or u will get blamed if any thing goes wrong. Blamed..blaamed..blaaaaamed...you...youuu ...youuuuu". Oh crap. There was only one thing to do.

"Come back another day."
"I dont care if its supposed to be urgent"
"Yes, but im not supposed to sign for anything"
"No i will not"

The stupid snitch calls his supervisor. She calls me. TMD. Stupid, rude witch.

Witch: "Ur company needs this very urgently, my man has to go elsewhere to deliver more urgent packages"
me: "So?"
Witch: "can u sign for it?"
me: "Sorry, i m not allowed to do so" (just covering my ass here like i was taught)
"just let me try and contact someone else who is authorized to do so"
Witch: "ok, i'll call back"

*I scan the first page of the volumous stack of names of people in different departments, flustered.*

2 seconds later..

BRinGggg..!
Witch: " How? have u found anyone?"
me: "Im still searching, if you could hold on ple..."
Witch: "But my man really has to go"
me: "He can go and come back another time"
Witch: "But this is urgent"
me: "then maybe if u would let me locate the person in charge?"
Witch: "But my man really has to go" (what?! is she a broken tape recorder?!)
me: "Give me five minutes please."

The delivery man tells me he's leaving. I nod.

5 minutes later..
BrrInGgg!!

Witch: "Ok ive gotten hold of some1 who can sign for the package"
me: "Good"
Witch: " Is the delivery man still there?"
me: "unfortunately he's left some time ago".
Witch: "This is unacceptable. This is unacceptable. This is unacceptable. Click."

Firstly, u see my pt abt being a broken down tape recorder? And secondly and more to the pt, SHE HUNG UP ON ME?! BLOODY BEEEEEEEEP! NO BODY HANGS UP ON ME! NO. BODY.

A while later...
IT calls back.

Witch: "Hi, my delivery man is on his way back, could u buzz him up?"
me: "We'll see. Click"

Mwahhhaaa

Brrringggg..!

Witch: "Hi, sorry, do you think u could ask Ms. so & so to come and authorize the package, please?"
me: "........."
Witch: "Hello? Sorry, are you there?"
me: "Maybe. Click."

Bwaahahhaaa
Dont triffle with me. Hang up on me once, i'd hang up on u twice.

So what? Fire me. I dare them.