Disillusioned and beaten.

Throwing in the towel.

So glad to be home ;)

***

It's funny. Everyone i used to think was pretty/beautiful/goodlooking now doesnt look good to me. Except Lucy Liu. She's still v pretty. A drop from beautiful, however. And especially the normal people. No one looks good anymore.

The only things i find beautiful in life are sunsets and sunrises. Im tired, perhaps. Tired of people. Tired of everything. I just want to sit back and relax, take in life, not have people shove it down my throat. Not explode into life. Chill the fuck out. The scenary lets me be in the moment, without a single care. It takes my breath away so i dont have to breathe and feel and in a sense, die a little.

It's good to be home. Good to be home to people who you know you can truly count on, people who dont give you unwanted grief, who hold your hand even if they dont know where they are leading you, or you leading them. I finally realize how important family really is. They are all-consuming and they are more important than you yourself. I have friends i consider family as well; friends i dont. I think im finally gettin my priorities in order. I'm not always first. I have no right to be that selfish and i cannot be. If home is where the heart is, my heart will always be home. I will always come home.